As a shareholder of Goldman Sachs, I believe it’s time for my company, as an unnatural person, to exercise its constitutional rights and declare its candidacy for President of this great natural country. This is why I have introduced a shareholder resolution to convince management to undertake an analysis of state and federal election laws and policy options on how our company can run for political office.
The Citizens United 2010 ruling allowing corporations to spend an unlimited and undisclosed amount of money on campaign-related advertising directly or through SuperPacs is not enough. Even though our employees’ PAC is the number one donor to Governor Romney’s campaign (we switched from supporting Obama four years ago), in the next Presidential election cycle our company should be prepared to roll up its sleeves and become a declared candidate.
I’m sure Governor Romney understands why it is important for an unnatural person whether Goldman Sachs, or his former company, Bain Capital, to be able to run for public office. He has already acknowledged that a corporation is a person. In the future, perhaps he would support our corporate campaign. Perhaps Congressman Ryan will agree to be Goldman’s Vice Presidential candidate next time around.
Our well paid employees work hard for their money, but I believe that employees donating money to politicians is more likely to jeopardize our sterling corporate reputation than it is to enhance profitability. After all, making a profit is the only reason we are in business, selling expensive and useless products and services to our clients, whether they need them or not.
I believe it is more appropriate for our corporation to forthrightly participate in the political process as a candidate, than to do so covertly through a SuperPac, or in the open with our employees’ PAC.
Over the last ten years Goldman Sachs’ PAC and employees have been listed as a top contributor to political campaigns and ranked among the top 10 largest political donors every year. Twice, in 2004 and in 2008, our PAC and employees contributed more to political campaigns than any other business in the U.S.
Critics of our company sometimes assert that Goldman Sachs already is the federal government because so many of our employees have secured top level positions in the government and 44 out of 49 Goldman lobbyists have previously held government jobs. The trouble with this revolving door is that it is just too temporary.
We could set up our own SuperPac like Steven Colbert and finally support something that’s worth supporting for public office: an unnatural person that can live forever. Say goodbye to any speculation about federal term limits and say hello to immortal and perpetual corporate candidacy. It’s our company and it’s our constitutional right!